I Love You, Spine Crackers

     All my work for The Secret Life of Laszlo, Count Dracula is finished.  My next conquest:  I Love You, Beth Cooper.

     I first encountered I Love You, Beth Cooper (written by Larry Doyle, who apparently used to write for The Simpsons) while browsing my favorite book store.  This was before the movie came out, before the trailers for the movie came out, before I was at all aware that there was a possibility of a movie.  Before it was in paperback, even.  (Based on the copyright date-- 2007-- it was probably as much as two, two and a half years ago.)  I was browsing fiction when the comical red cover caught my eye; against the bright background was a sketch of a dorky, acne-ridden teenage boy looking positively terrified.

     I held the heavy hardcover in my hands, gently turned it over to read the teasers on the back.  Immediately the outrageous, unbelievable story caught my attention.

     Dorky Denis Cooverman announces in his graduation speech, "I love you, Beth Cooper".  This could have been a really sweet, scene-from-a-movie moment... if Beth Cooper even knew Denis existed.  Not to mention, her beefy boyfriend is in town and he is not happy.  What follows?  Hilarity.

     I haven't seen the movie yet; I've been wanting to since it was released over a year ago, but I generally can't stand to watch a movie before I read the book.  Unless I don't know about the book, in which case I am probably not interested in it anyway.

     I came home, added it to my monstrous wish list.  I finally bought it last winter when someone thoughtfully gave me a gift card to my favorite book store.  I'm ashamed to say that I did buy the copy with the movie cover, but for one reason:  it was considerably cheaper, and I am not one to waste good gift card money. 

     For nearly a year, it's been sitting on the shelf with all my other hopefuls.  I Love You, Beth Cooper, today is your day.  It's your turn.

The Secret Life of Laszlo, Count Dracula: Video Review

Words I Don't Know: This is it.

ennui (n.):  a feeling of utter weariness and discontent resulting from satiety or lack of interest; boredom.
derisive (adj.):  characterized by or expressing derision; contemptuous; mocking.
pedantic (adj.):  overly concerned with minute details or formalisms, esp. in teaching.
extenuate (v.):  to serve to make (a fault, offense, etc.) seem less serious.
poignant (adj.):  to the point; cutting or piercing.
vertiginous (adj.):  whirling; spinning; rotary.
aberration (n.):  the act of deviating from the ordinary, usual, or normal type; deviation from truth or moral rectitude; mental irregularity or disorder, esp. of a minor or temporary nature; lapse from a sound mental state.

circumvent (v.):  to go around or bypass.

gentry (n.):  well-born and well-bred people;(in England) the class below the nobility.

equipage (n.):  a carriage drawn by horses and attended by servants.

clout (n.):  a blow with the hand or a hard object.

ardor (n.):  great warmth of feeling; fervor; passion.

sub judice (n.):  before a judge or court; awaiting judicial determination.

implicit (adj.):  unquestioning or unreserved.

scrupulous (adj.):  punctiliously or minutely careful, precise, or exact.

tenacious (adj.):  pertinacious, persistent, stubborn, or obstinate.

majordomo (n.):  a man in charge of a great household, as that of a sovereign; a chief steward.

lugubrious (adj.):  mournful, dismal, or gloomy, esp. in an affected, exaggerated, or unrelieved manner.

rictus (n.):  the gaping or opening of the mouth.

parapet (n.):  a defensive wall or elevation, as of earth or stone, in a fortification.

 

Words I Don't Know: Overwhelmed.

sumptuous (adj.):  luxuriously fine or large; lavish; splendid.
epicene (adj.):  flaccid; feeble; weak: an epicene style of writing; effeminate; unmasculine.
[delirium] tremens (n.):  a withdrawal syndrome occurring in persons who have developed physiological dependence on alcohol, characterized by tremor, visual hallucinations, and autonomic instability.
miasma (n.):  a dangerous, foreboding, or deathlike influence or atmosphere.
rancor (n.):  bitter, rankling resentment or ill will; hatred; malice.
expunge (v.):  to strike or blot out; erase; obliterate; to efface; wipe out or destroy.
enteric (adj.):  of or pertaining to the enteron; intestinal.
speculum (n.):  a mirror or reflector, esp. one of polished metal, as on a reflecting telescope.
prodrome (n.):  any symptom that signals the impending onset of a disease. 
in extremis (adv.):  near death.
sanctimonious (adj.):  making a hypocritical show of religious devotion, piety, righteousness.
subterfuge (n.):  an artifice or expedient used to evade a rule, escape a consequence, hide something, etc.
incontrovertible (adj.):  not controvertible; not open to question or dispute; indisputable.
juxtaposition (n.):  an act or instance of placing close together or side by side, esp. for comparison or contrast; the state of being close together or side by side.
meritocracy (n.):  rule by persons chosen not because of birth or wealth, but for their superior talents or intellect.
indolent (adj.):  having or showing a disposition to avoid exertion; slothful.
animus (n.):  strong dislike or enmity; hostile attitude; animosity.
paregoric (n.):  a camphorated tincture of opium, containing benzoic acid, anise oil, etc., used chiefly to stop diarrhea in children; any soothing medicine; anodyne.
stoical (adj.):  impassive; characterized by a calm, austere fortitude befitting the Stoics.
poignant (adj.):  keenly distressing to the feelings: poignant regret; keen or strong in mental appeal; affecting or moving the emotions.
cacophony (n.):  harsh discordance of sound; dissonance.
ordure (n.):  dung; manure; excrement.
surreptitious (adj.):  obtained, done, made, etc., by stealth; secret or unauthorized; clandestine.
refectory (n.):  a dining hall in a religious house, a college, or other institution.
barque/bark (n.):  a sailing ship of three or more masts having the foremasts rigged square and the aftermast rigged fore-and-aft.
stevedore (n.):  a firm or individual engaged in the loading or unloading of a vessel.
officious (adj.):  objectionably aggressive in offering one's unrequested and unwanted services, help, or advice; meddlesome.
collegiality (n.):  cooperative interaction among colleagues.

definitions from dictionary.reference.com

Words I Don't Know: I'm repeating myself.

You may notice some words that have been previously included.  If you see multiples, it's because I came across the word again and didn't recognize it.  I decided to include repeats because repetition helps with memory.

apostasy (n.):  a total desertion of or departure from one's religion, principles, party, cause, etc.
anathema (n.):  a person or thing accursed or consigned to damnation or destruction.
bacilli (n., plural):  any rod-shaped or cylindrical bacterium of the genus Bacillus,  comprising spore-producing bacteria.
tumescent (adj.):  exhibiting or affected with many ideas or emotions; teeming.
largess (n.):  generous bestowal of gifts.
ignominious (adj.):  marked by or attended with ignominy; discreditable; humiliating.
facsimile (n.):  an exact copy, as of a book, painting, or manuscript.
cerise (adj.,n.):  moderate to deep red.
unctuous (adj.):  characterized by excessive piousness or moralistic fervor, esp. in an affected manner; excessively smooth, suave, or smug; having an oily or soapy feel, as certain minerals.
inchoate (adj.):  not yet completed or fully developed; rudimentary; just begun; incipient.
neurasthenia (n.):  (not in technical use) nervous debility and exhaustion occurring in the absence of objective causes or lesions; nervous exhaustion.
facile (adj.):  moving, acting, working, proceeding with ease, sometimes with superficiality.
apotheosis (n.):  the ideal example; epitome; quintessence.
bandolier/ bandoleer (n.):  a broad belt worn over the shoulder by soldiers and having a number of small loops or pockets, for holding a cartridge or cartridges.
valise (n.):  a small piece of luggage that can be carried by hand, used to hold clothing, toilet articles, etc.; suitcase; traveling bag.
nodal (adj.):  pertaining to or of the nature of a node.
ephemeral (adj.):  lasting a very short time; short-lived; transitory.
topography (n.):  the detailed mapping or charting of the features of a relatively small area, district, or locality.
consternation (n.):  a sudden, alarming amazement or dread that results in utter confusion; dismay.
fulcrum (n.):  a sudden, alarming amazement or dread that results in utter confusion; dismay.
exultation (n.):  lively or triumphant joy, as over success or victory.
surreptitious (adj.):  acting in a stealthy way.
reticent (adj.):  disposed to be silent or not to speak freely; reserved.
deputation (n.):  the person or body of persons so appointed or authorized.
provincial (adj.):  belonging or peculiar to some particular province; local.
abject (adj.):  utterly hopeless, miserable, humiliating, or wretched.
burgher (n.):  an inhabitant of a town, esp. a member of the middle class; citizen.
impertinent (n.):  unmannerly intrusion or presumption; insolence.
ambiguity (n.):  an unclear, indefinite, or equivocal word, expression, meaning, etc.
bulwark (n.):  any person or thing giving strong support or encouragement in time of need, danger, or doubt.
maudlin (adj.):  tearfully or weakly emotional; foolishly sentimental.
salver (n.):  a tray, esp. one used for serving food or beverages.

factotum (n.):  a person, as a handyman or servant, employed to do all kinds of work around the house.
pied-a-terre (n.):  a residence, as an apartment, for part-time or temporary use.
culmination (n.):  the final, highest, or decisive point.
innocuous (adj.):  not harmful or injurious; harmless.
linchpin (n.):  a pin inserted through the end of an axletree to keep the wheel on;something that holds

the various elements of a complicated structure together.

 

definitions from dictionary.reference.com

Words I Don't Know: Sinister Things.

 demimondaine (n.):  a woman of the demimonde (promiscuity).
quenelle (n.):  a dumpling of finely chopped fish or meat that is poached in water or stock and usually served with a sauce.
laconic (adj.):  using few words; expressing much in few words; concise.
pied-a-terre (n.):  a residence, as an apartment, for part-time or temporary use.
offal (n.):  the parts of a butchered animal that are considered inedible by human beings.
novitiate (n.):  the state or period of being a novice of a religious order or congregation.
bourgeois (n.):  a member of the middle class;a person whose political, economic, and social opinions are believed to be determined mainly by concern for property values and conventional respectability; a shopkeeper or merchant.
pederast (n.):  a person who engages in pederasty (love of young boys).
perfidious (adj.):  deliberately faithless; treacherous; deceitful.
ephemeral (adj.):  lasting a very short time; short-lived; transitory.
provincial (adj.):  belonging or peculiar to some particular province.
fatuous (adj.):  foolish or inane, esp. in an unconscious, complacent manner; silly.
dishabille (n.):  the state of being dressed in a careless, disheveled, or disorderly style or manner; undress.
equanimity (n.):  mental or emotional stability or composure, esp. under tension or strain; calmness; equilibrium.
treatise (n.):  a formal and systematic exposition in writing of the principles of a subject, generally longer and more detailed than an essay.
portentous (adj.):  ominously significant or indicative.
sophistry (n.):  a subtle, tricky, superficially plausible, but generally fallacious method of reasoning.
bastion (n.):  a projecting portion of a rampart or fortification that forms an irregular pentagon attached at the base to the main work.
recalcitrant (adj.):  resisting authority or control; not obedient or compliant; refractory.
gumma (n.):  a rubbery, tumor-like lesion associated with tertiary syphilis.
anachronism (n.):  an error in chronology in which a person, object, event, etc., is assigned a date or period other than the correct one.
obsequious (adj.):  characterized by or showing servile complaisance or deference; fawning.
acquiesce (v.):  to assent tacitly; submit or comply silently or without protest; agree; consent.
magnate (n.):  a person of great influence, importance, or standing in a particular enterprise, field of business, etc.
idealogue (n.):  One given to fanciful ideas or theories; a theorist; a spectator.

definitons from dictionary.reference.com